Can you find better example of being humble than this title?
Of course you can, but, who cares!?
Ok, I’m going straight to the point. While ago I’ve said, that maybe I’ll write a little bit more about me one day. This day is today.
After some dramatic and traumatic events that took place in my life (which began about a year and a half ago and did not leave my thoughts for several months back from now), I finally found peace.
Someone may ask – What I mean by dramatic and traumatic events?
After few months of marriage, not even half year my wife (now ex-wife) asked me can she go on disco with her friends (all of them have husbands as well and it had to be something like “girls evening”) so I said “yes, no problem”.
She met there a man (which is nothing really special at this kind of places) and now comes the best part.
Are you ready?
She felt in love at first sight!
How sweet… more you can read here https://wp.me/p8FnFG-Au
Since next day she was behaving different, so it wasn’t hard to see she started to smile to phone while reading messages and texting all day long.
I was trying to find out what’sgoing on, she was saying, that’s nothing going on.
Until one day she told me to move out from house, sheis in love and she doesn’t loves me anymore and so on. It was like thunder from te sky.
As nothing comes too easy and I used to love her I was trying to save this marriage, trying to talk with her and keep in touch.
She was telling me, that she is possessed by the devil and she was acting like this I’ve called for my good friend who is the priest and he came as soon as possible from the other city which is few hours drive in one way.
He said, that with experience, which he have it’s not possession.
I was also consulting with psychiatrist, psychologist, all for nothing.
She tried to commit suicide several times. We already haven’t living together at that time, but as a husband I was informed about those situations.
This is what I’m calling dramatic and traumatic and it really goes deep into mind.
I used to self employed but this situation has surpassed me, totally.
I couldn’t take care about myself and what to say about managing the business.
I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t think rational. Unmanaged business generated losses. Before all this situation I bought more goods than usual because the time of Christmas shopping was approaching. But ultimately, I did not sell anything, I had no head for this. All this situation and led me to end the business.
When finally, I recovered from the worst shock, my mind was still full of bad things, bad memories etc. Nobody cares about your situation and you have to pay for everything, food costs, house costs, everything costs and only air seem to be free of charge.
I needed to find a job and needed to cut myself off from problems.
In other words, I needed a job where there is no time to think. This is how I’ve started to work on car wash.
Car wash is trully this kind of work where even an complete idiot can find a job.
And seriously there are some kinds of work where you can find low intelectual developed people, just idiots. Those idiots make opinion to all who work in this kind of jobs.
Anyway, there is few month left and I’ll pay off rest of my debt and because I’m feeling good now it will be good time to get back on track and rebuilt my business.
How this situation changed me? Well, I simply care less about anything.
So many things doesn’t matter, so many things are not going to shock me now. I mean, you can still surprised me with something, but it will be nothing really special.
For example the friend of mine texted me few days ago, that she lied to me on some issues by last six years. I’ve only asked – does everything is ok?
I’ve ask this question because I’ve learned, that people confess things like this when something happened. She had mental brakedown while ago.
Yeah? Me too. Now it’s fine.
I signed up on some dating sites but didn’t date with anyone. I guess people over thirties are not in a circle of interests or I’m just too ugly to date.
I have heard many times what kind of man girls and women want to have and it seem that I’m perfect. Well, not really. I’m perfect friend, not even considered as partner.
Yes, nice guys ends in friend zone before anything even started. Girls and women like to complain on their men but when it’s really good, they simply get bored and start to looking for attractions.
I used to consider girls and women almost like an angels or nearly I couldn’t be more wrong, they are just the same as men. Which mean, that maybe somwhere on this planet is a girl a lot like which will appreciate to spendtime together nice, to talk about the problems instead of hiding it or aruing, who would like to travel together to interesting places and being honest about what she like and what she don’t. Is it that hard?
I would like to find a girl who will appreciate that I’m honest, that I’m telling what I like and what I don’t like. I would like to find a girl who will appreciate that I’m not a jerk and have no problem to cook or to wash the dishes or clean the floor etc. I’ts really not big deal. I would like to find the girl who will enjoy to have a massage and have no problem to massage me too, because it’s really nice and relaxing and you don’t need to have special knowledge about it, you don’t need to use strenght for it, because nice, gentle, delicate massage from your beloved one is the best relaxing thing.
Of course you can go to a professional massage studio but it will never be the same it will never give you this atmosphere what you have while with your beloved one.
Does anyone know what I mean?
Sometimes I think, that people freaked out. What values count today?
I have no idea, money? number of followers on social media? number of likes under your selfie? subscribers on youtube?
It is nice when you see, that other people like your ideas, but it’s not a value by itself.
Doing something for likes or attention is stupid.
I used to be on some page about youtube to share my videos, but what I saw there wasn’t even stupid, it was idiotic. People there are asking other people to subscribe their youtube channels it’s called sub4sub. I’ve wrote a post there: watch and let me know what do you think about my video and I’ll do the same in return.
What kind of feedback I got?
“I’ve subscribe to your channel, now you subscribe mine”
So I had no other choice than write the answer.
“Probably you have the problem to read with understanding, so let me make this clear – get the fuck your subscribtion and get the fuck out from my channel if you are such an idiot”
Yeah, this shows how nice guy I’m.
When you start to work with idiots, sooner or later you will see, that if you want them to understand what you want from them, you have to use their lingual level.
And I don’t give a shit about this. I’ll not try to educate them.
Ok, now, why I wrote I’m superman?
Because I care about many things much less than ever before, because I’m free, because I let myself to do many things, that I haven’t doing it before, because I don’t care about other people opinion, because after disaster many things became so small.
Now it’s like be yourself, free yourself, do it your way. You don’t have to follow the rules when you see they are not work for you. Use your life, don’t waste it.
I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I’m not using the drugs and I’m using my life as much as possible without hurting myself and anyone around.
I’m doing what I like when and how it’s possible, I’m not forcing myself or anyone else to do anything. You have your mind, so use it. This is what it is for.
Think and enjoy from smallest things in your life.
Have a nice day 🙂