I’m tired

No matter what I’ll write, how I will provoke, people here like it or not reacting. Is it so unique society here? Why it cannot be on entire World like this? What is wrong with the people? I really have enough of stupidity and other lower instincs, which leading to conflicts.

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Second chance

We have only one life and we should make it as best as possible. It’s nothing special, that we all making mistakes, from different reasons. We also have to remember, that life is simple, only people makes it difficult. Life is simple, also doesn’t mean it’s easy and pleasant, sometimes we have to make hard choices.
When someone will do something wrong or against us, we can get angry and now, the question is what to do? What is the best solution? Of course everything dependns from situation and circumstances. In most situations we can discuss and explain what and why had happened. Consequences are the next step. Mistakes can happen to anyone, we should understand this, because it can happen also to ourselves. Maybe not exactly the same thing, but it doesn’t change a fact. People are different, they think different, so it’s possible, that someone made mistake because, didn’t realised what it means for us. No matter the reason is, we can give second chance or not, it’s depends from us.
It’s about being good, forgiveness and so kind… but be careful, because second chance not always mean: ok I’m forgiving you, try again.
This may happen once and only once. The person have chance to change and now everything depends from this person. Remember, no excuses this time.
Because when you will give another chance for the same mistake, you are not giving a chance at all. If you want to say, it’s good to forgive that’s why I’m giving you one more chance, you are doing something bad. I’m very serious about that.
When someone f… up, there is only one chance, each next one, mean, that you are allowing this person for doing it over and over again. If someone used his chance and still doing the same mistakes, there is very small probability to change it.
The next chance in this case is to not allowing for reapiting this situation, is to end this.
In other way, this person won’t change and will be encouraged even more to keep this kind of behaviour, because will know, another chance is avalible.
For better example let’s take relationship. When partner is cheating on you and it was once, you can forgive and give a chance. Here partner have two options.
First, to change and stop cheating, keeping in mind, that partner’s trust is lost and have to work to rebuild it.
Second, to make empty promises but still cheating behind your back.
There is also third option, but it’s more like variety of the second one. Partner will stop cheating for some time and rebuild trust, then start cheating again.
When partner is still cheating, the only chance for change is to end relationship. Otherwise partner will recive “permission” for cheating and lose respect to you.
If you put yourself in this situation, then you are hurting yourself and your partner too.
You have to decide, is it ok for you, to be cheated, or no. Complaining and arguing with your partner doesn’t change a fact, that in reality, you are allowing for this situation exists.
When you decide to finish relationship, you are giving clear signal, what for you is right and what for you is wrong.
When you decide to end relationship, you are giving a chance to your partner for change, because your partner then, is losing you and only this can be a reason to see, that this kind of behaviour is not allowed and recived chance is wasted.
In other words, if first chance to change didn’t worked, second have to be different.
You cannot change someone, who don’t want it by himself.
Other example can be about work.
If you are the boss, and you catch your worker on stealing, you can give him a second chance (first was hiring him, in relationship, first chance is being with you) and keep your employee at work.
But if your worker will steal again, will he stop when you give him another chance?
After first time, your employee should try as best as possible and proof he is worth of trust.
If the situation is repeat again, the other chance for this worker is to fired him.
Maybe in next job he will not do it again, realising the consequences.
Don’t allow for stealing, it’s not good for both, boss and employee. If you know, that your worker is in difficult situation, there are other things to help, but never allow people to consider wrong behaviour can be justified.

Demoralizating others is not a good thing, it’s harmful for them, their families and rest of society.

Day of Forgiveness

We all or at least most of us like any holidays. It’sdoesn’t matter what is this about, if it will provide day off. But we also like to celebrate, cheering, joyce etc. When I’m looking how people are celebrating their holidays, I think is much more about celebrating it self. We are doing all the things we have to do, especiallywhen it comes about traditions or just joyce and using it as a day off. We are not thinking about deeper meaning of what nad why we doing, we are doing everything shallow. Traditional outfits, traditional rites and ceremonies doesn’t make it deeper. Traditions are only what is on the surface.
I thought what would happen if we will have Day of Forgiveness? The day when you forgive to those who did some harm to you. It will simply not work. Even if we will set this kind of day it will become same shallow as any other holidays and all our forgiveness will be deprived of deeper meaning. It will be probably like “hi I forgive you”, “hello, Iforgive you too,  and you, and you, and you too”.
If I’m not belive in this, so why am I writing about this?
Maybe to make us think about how we are and how we are treating all these “Days, Holidays and Celebrations”.

The greatest achievement of mankind

Since many centuries great minds of our World, was thinking and teaching about morality, life and living. Civilization was developing, we was learning about rules of the world and life. After thousands of years, what do we have today? What we really achieved during this time? What the civilization is all about? We call ourselves civilized, but what really does it mean? Is it mean, that we are able to make buildings, vechicles and other machines? How much do we know? We consider ourselves as so awesome, because we know so much, we can answer for so many questions… What questions, how many?
Maybe after thousands of years, the greatest achievement of civilization should be humility? How about that?
Instead, we stayd same primitive, as we were before the beginning of our great civilization. I’m talking about global civilization, no matter how much developed it is.
Civilization seem to be only about our ability to build structures and machines, developing technology, but what about our behaviour? Someone can tell me, our behaviour changed a lot during this time, we don’t do many thing people did in the past, which is so true. Only the question is, why we behave so reckless in everyday life?
We shouldn’t be smarter? Have we really achieved so much?
Greed, power, corruption, fear, hate, wars, destruction, mindlessness are signs of all times I’ve heard about. It’s also signs of present life.
Are we able to go beyond?
Recent and still actual case about refugees. The question is why situation like this is possible in modern civilized world? why we still have wars, hunger, terror, why do we have to be afraid of eachother? Is this so great achievement of civilization?
I’m not the right person to touch this case, because I don’t know about it, but I’m thinking about this and similar situations from the past. Few days ago I was reading one post, which have touching this case. I have to confes, that I didn’t dig for informations, to find out how it was during WWII and refugee situations, I only wonder about behaviour of refugees during that times and their demands to the host countries. I’ve heard about appreciation and thankfulness, gratefulness of refugees to host countries. From the other hand, I didn’t heard about rapes, slaughtering, killing, terrorizing and demands raised by WWII refugees to host countries. It’s possible, that I simply need to dig for informations to find out it is natural, that people running away from war bring all these things with them and no one had nothing against it. Or maybe refugees from WWII didn’t behave this way? I don’t know. Or maybe, they just politely adjusted to the law and manners of the state to which they escaped. As I said before, I have no idea how it was at that time.
It can be consider as disrespectful, to touch the topic you have no idea about it, but it’s just quick and spontanous thoughts appeared in my head.
I don’t want to make this post provocative and controversal, but there are some thoughts I want to share.
If someone is helping me, then I’m not saying “you should do this”,”I want more”, “I’m not going to eat your food” or “you should do what I want” especially when I was asking for help. If I will not ask for help, it’s a little bit diferent. Then I can even refuse anyone to help me, because I wasn’t asking for it. But if I did, then I’m obliged to adjust, which doesn’t mean to lose my values and honor.
This example is easy for parents: If you have children, you won’t let anybody to your home, because you think about safety of your children first. So if you have any suspicions, that in the group of people asking you to let them sleep or live in your house, might be someone dangerous, but you don’t know who exactly, will you let them in?
But there is something much more serious, than arguing about refugees case.
Refugees are an effect of this what governments are leading to, which are wars and hunger, greed, craving power instead of taking care about people.
They all (or most of governments) takes care only in necessary minimum to keep their positions. It’s even not taking care, it’s more like, they do what they have to do, to keep the power, they simply don’t mind about people. I know it’s generalizing, which may be harmful for those, who are really trying to do something positive, but that’s the way it is.
fear and lack of knowledge can lead to hatred, which may lead to violence, which can lead to agression and finally to war. What war brings, I don’t have to say, it’s just to obvious. Of course wars basing not only on hate, fear or protection of your country, it’s also quite often based on greed.
I’m thinking, what will happen when we will be able to colonize other planets?
Can you imagine what kind of wars it may provide? Can you imagine interplanetary wars? What kind of weapons we will use? Are people are smart enough to avoid it?
I think, it’s just to hard for now, but for now it’s to difficult to colonize anything out in space.
The only solution is to stop fighting. Are we, as a mankind, are we able to do it?
Even if in the future will be world peace, for how long it will last? It will be very fragile.
Selfcontrol is very difficult for people. How easily we becoming angry? How many things are anoying for us? How respectful we are for each other?
Does people are able to respect diferences between each other?
We never gonna be the same. There is no option for total agreement, there will be no one common language neither religion or philosophy. There will be always differences.
I don’t believe, that people are able to live in peace, but it will not stop me, to not do my best. It will not stop me to trying. It will not stop me to becoming better.
People now are so much about, to not hurting anyone feelings, that sometimes it’s leading to absurds and hurts even more.
I was raised on lies and I contempt  all those who care so much about my feelings, that they are lying to me, or not telling me anything. It will only increas my harm, when I will find out, about this. What about honesty? It seem, that honesty became immoral today.
We cannot call a lier, someone who is lying, we cannot call a killer, someone who killed other person, because we can induce public outrage.
It doesn’t mean, that feelings of other people are not important, it doesn’t mean to not care.
In other words: hpnesty and distance to yourself, recomended, as well as humility and patience. No one is perfect and we should remember about this.
It require a lot of work on ourselves and I know, that people are lazy, but I wonder, does some of them are idiots, or they just don’t think? This is not about those with any kind of disorders, but sometimes you can meet a person, which seem to be able to think, to lead conversations, to work etc. But when it comes to any dialogue or you see how this person is behaving, then you asking yourself: What is wrong with this person?
Freedom is not real, because no one is really free, everyone and everything is depending from something.
Everything is a chain reaction and it’s best explanation, why there is no freedom. In other words, every cause produce an effect. Everything is happen for a reason, isn’t?
Or maybe it’s just an effect of something what had happened?
We cannot do anything we like, because we have to count with others and consecquences of our actions.
Myabe it would be easier if we will live on bigger areas, more separated from each other. Maybe then we will be more calm and more happy if we will see anybody once a week. When we miss someone, it’s much more nice, to meet this person. So if we will miss for people in general, maybe this will provide peace…
But I’m not convinced to this idea, I don’t think it could really works.
The other obstacle is the system. We all are living in some kind of system and we have to adjust to it. All or most systems are based on valuing money.
Money are worthless, it have only given value. The only value of money, is our agreement to accept it as an exchange source. If you wnat to check the real value of it, go into the wild. Value of money is like time, both doesn’t really exist, but it doesn’t bother us to use it. We are using it both, money and time to define easier something what makes problems for us to imagine it, similar like with  infinity, we know what does it mean, but it’s hard to imagine it.
This valuing money systems, may also leading to wars.
Who want war? If you answered nobody, you are wrong.
There are some people on this World, who can crave for bloodshed, but I don’t know any.
But I know people covered by fear, which make them behaviour based on strong primal emotions. Most people want lo live in peace, provide their own life nice, simple and calm, even those, who like to incrase their adrenaline level.

The global peace seem to be the greatest mankind achievement. The only problem is, that it’s not achieved yet and probably it will never be. Even if this is immpossible (and it’s not true,that nothing is immpossible. There are immpossible things. There might be things we cannot do today, because of some reasons, but there are also things, which are just immpossible), it doesn’t mean we don’t have to try, to make this World a better place to live. It’s also worth to try, to make our life better. So what it’s gonna be perfect? Does it have to be?
Back to the track, required things which might be necessary for world peace, in myopinion are: humility (not humiliation), distance to ourselves, calm, honesty, selfrespect and respect to each other and logic thinking, which lead to understanding.
I’m changing by myself and my point of view may change as well. But this is what I’m thinking about greatest achievement of mankind at this moment.
At the end, I have to mention, that I can point these few things leading to this great goal. This is all about, what to do, but the right question is how to do it and I have no idea how to do it. As I mentioned before, I don’t think it’s possible at all. It’s an utopian idea. Does it worth to go this direction? Or maybe is better to quit and provide the life we know in the World we know?

One more time I couldn’t sit down and write this in one time, so I was losing the threads and couldn’t remind it. I hope it’s not confusing too much.

I’m not afraid of criticism and any unfavorable comments, will not be removed. I’m only asking to watch your language in the comments.

Questions vs Answers

Hello everyone, I would like to invite you for a open discussion.
The topic is: does questions are better than answers?
It may look silly, but I can assure you, there is a deeper meaning.
Just a short post for good discussion, I hope.

Run or fight, or…

Run or fight is a popular conception, sometimes is developed by third option, which is stay.  Some animals stay in shock, some other stay to pretend dead. But does it all possible options? What if there is a forth option? Which we can call don’t panic. I agree, that is very important to react as fast as possible in many situations, but sometimes too fast may be so wrong. Subconscious decisions or learned reactions may lead to bad consequences. Isn’t right to make best decision as fast as possible? To do that, we need a while, it may be few seconds, sometimes more, but it can save us or others.
Stay calm, open your mind and make right choice what is best to do in the situation is happening. You cannot predict all situation can happen and how you will react, but you can learn how to control the stress. What we can do, is to experience stressful situations as an excercises of selfcontrol, which can be helpful for us as much as for others.

Balance

Whenever it’s about making decisions, mind balance seem to be the best advisor. It may look to be boring, because balance mean to keep emotions in check. For example let’s imagine situation that two people are at court of justice in the same kind of case, but in two different days. In one day judge can be in good mood and in the next day in bad mood. Who care about mood of judge? Everyone expect fair trial. We could say, that for making choices it would be the best to be emotionless. But, does it for sure? We need emotions, at least to understand the reasons of other people actions. Instead be over it, calm down and think logically. Search for the all possible options and solutions and try to choose the best way. Clear your mind, because what may prove to be the best, doesn’t have to be clearly obvious. How many time you did something and regret it later, only because it was emotions affected. Sum everything you know and calculate all the positives and negatives and check what consequences it will provide.
Sometimes even when someone is not acting in affect of emotions, may make decisions by one way thinking. Often it’s hard to see all solutions and all consequences of our actions and decisions, but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. There are many factors, which may lead us to not make choices, which will have not best results for us.
Let say we are doing shopping, salesman may advise us to buy something what we don’t need. For him important thing is to sale, to earn money, we all know this. But does it best choice for him? The salesman may advise us to buy the most expensive thing, suggesting, that this is the best thing for us, that we need it. If he promised and later we discover it’s not true, then we won’t be happy and probably we won’t go back for shopping to this place again. So, does it look for the best choice of the salesman? Or maybe it would be better if the salesman advise us something what we came for, what is good and what we need? Maybe he will not earn so much this time, but he have new customers instead who will be coming back to him.
What can look to be as best choice at the moment, may turn out into temporary best choice, or not best at all, this is why we should search not only for solution, which will be good permamently, keeping in mind is not always possible. Anyway we obligated to make the best possible choice and for this we need inner balance, to think in “cause and effect” way, especially when we don’t have knowledge in the matter is all about.