The cult of body

I’m looking back in the past and I see, that some things didn’t change so much til present day. We like to think about our selves as inteligent and open minded generation, but how we really are? In ancient Greece people like to admire human body, beautiful proportions and shapes. Even in medival time, people had their definition of a beauty which referred directly to the body. Today we have some competitions where people are chosing most beautiful man or woman, but only in context of the body.
If I will treat my body as a temple, shouldn’t I care more of, what this temple is all about?
Aren’t we pay too much attention to our bodies as body by itself?
I know some people, some companies are making good business on it, but there are people suffering because they’re trying to follow after the body cult.
A lot of complexes and some disorders like anorexia can have effort even in adult life.
So what to say, when it’s about childhood or youthful age.
Who you are by your mind, define your value more, than who you are by your body or job. How you are thinking have much more matter than how you look.
Are we so shallow to see only bodies, or can we look deeper and see human?
How far we are from our primal instincts…?

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When “too much” means “not good”

Do we understand well, what “do your best” really means?
When we are trying to achieve something and work as hard as possible and really do what is necessary for it, or even more and still not getting closer to reach our goal, then obviously, something is wrong. We may even not see this and think, that everything is ok, until one day. How is that possible?
How is possible to work so hard, do our best and to not see something is going wrong?
When we put too much effort, when we are trying too much, then it’s easy to lose perspective and miss a lot of things happens around us.
For example, I don’t have to write long posts, when the message is clear and understandable.
What for? Is it the point, to get people bored of reading, when it’s too much?
Is it the point to get people tired of you, when you are asking them every time about something, when for them is too much?
Trying too hard, doing too much is a trap!
Take a break, get perspective, find the balance.

Second chance

We have only one life and we should make it as best as possible. It’s nothing special, that we all making mistakes, from different reasons. We also have to remember, that life is simple, only people makes it difficult. Life is simple, also doesn’t mean it’s easy and pleasant, sometimes we have to make hard choices.
When someone will do something wrong or against us, we can get angry and now, the question is what to do? What is the best solution? Of course everything dependns from situation and circumstances. In most situations we can discuss and explain what and why had happened. Consequences are the next step. Mistakes can happen to anyone, we should understand this, because it can happen also to ourselves. Maybe not exactly the same thing, but it doesn’t change a fact. People are different, they think different, so it’s possible, that someone made mistake because, didn’t realised what it means for us. No matter the reason is, we can give second chance or not, it’s depends from us.
It’s about being good, forgiveness and so kind… but be careful, because second chance not always mean: ok I’m forgiving you, try again.
This may happen once and only once. The person have chance to change and now everything depends from this person. Remember, no excuses this time.
Because when you will give another chance for the same mistake, you are not giving a chance at all. If you want to say, it’s good to forgive that’s why I’m giving you one more chance, you are doing something bad. I’m very serious about that.
When someone f… up, there is only one chance, each next one, mean, that you are allowing this person for doing it over and over again. If someone used his chance and still doing the same mistakes, there is very small probability to change it.
The next chance in this case is to not allowing for reapiting this situation, is to end this.
In other way, this person won’t change and will be encouraged even more to keep this kind of behaviour, because will know, another chance is avalible.
For better example let’s take relationship. When partner is cheating on you and it was once, you can forgive and give a chance. Here partner have two options.
First, to change and stop cheating, keeping in mind, that partner’s trust is lost and have to work to rebuild it.
Second, to make empty promises but still cheating behind your back.
There is also third option, but it’s more like variety of the second one. Partner will stop cheating for some time and rebuild trust, then start cheating again.
When partner is still cheating, the only chance for change is to end relationship. Otherwise partner will recive “permission” for cheating and lose respect to you.
If you put yourself in this situation, then you are hurting yourself and your partner too.
You have to decide, is it ok for you, to be cheated, or no. Complaining and arguing with your partner doesn’t change a fact, that in reality, you are allowing for this situation exists.
When you decide to finish relationship, you are giving clear signal, what for you is right and what for you is wrong.
When you decide to end relationship, you are giving a chance to your partner for change, because your partner then, is losing you and only this can be a reason to see, that this kind of behaviour is not allowed and recived chance is wasted.
In other words, if first chance to change didn’t worked, second have to be different.
You cannot change someone, who don’t want it by himself.
Other example can be about work.
If you are the boss, and you catch your worker on stealing, you can give him a second chance (first was hiring him, in relationship, first chance is being with you) and keep your employee at work.
But if your worker will steal again, will he stop when you give him another chance?
After first time, your employee should try as best as possible and proof he is worth of trust.
If the situation is repeat again, the other chance for this worker is to fired him.
Maybe in next job he will not do it again, realising the consequences.
Don’t allow for stealing, it’s not good for both, boss and employee. If you know, that your worker is in difficult situation, there are other things to help, but never allow people to consider wrong behaviour can be justified.

Demoralizating others is not a good thing, it’s harmful for them, their families and rest of society.

Fantasy and Imagination

Living in rush, day by day can easily make us fall into routine. To avoid it, we need to develop our fantasy and imagination. Somehow people today are more about to wait for ready solution or advice what and how to do, than people living centuries ago. Maybe a lot of things in present life comes to easy. It’s just enough to put searching thing into browser and you will get DIY advisor. But this is not the solution. Of course it’s good and useful, but as long it’s only about copy someone’s idea, as long we will not develop our imagination. Some people can say, that is not about their nature. Here is my advise, keep on practice, you risk nothing, but can make your life more interesting and satisfying.
Look back in the past, when people had no internet, no tv, no radio, no entertainment.
Such a great art they’ve made, such a great architecture, not even mention about their sexual life and fantasies, especially those who had some possibility like nobility or royalty.
If you like to be bored, or in routine, or tired, that’s ok. But, if you want to change it, keep in mind to practice your imagination, try to not looking for ready solution, find your own, it cost you nothing.
Just do it your way.

Does size matters?

I will try to give not so shallow answer as the title is.
Let’s start from this, that everything depends fromsomething. Our point of view may change, depending on various factors, expectations or informations.
What it have to do about size?
Whether it is about lenght, thickness, hight or anything else it may lose all the matter, when you will fall into infatuation, enchantment.
For this example, let’s call it love. So, love blinds us, we don’t see anything else except beloved person, then it’s doesn’t matter about size or anything else and everything is awesome. When infatuation goes away, we may see some things we didn’t see before.
Once again, it’s not about size, but about everything. We start to see small things and differences between us and our characters. Then it’s important how much, we fits to each other. When enchantment is gone, we start to look at relationship in different way. We may look more on own needs and satisfaction more. If we used to partner, it may have no or at least not big matter about size, but more about how good we feel together.
But when this is strictly about sexual, then everything matters, lenght, thickness and skills. This is for both, women and men as well. When this is about sexuality, men also look at woman assessing her sizes. It shows how shallow we are, when it is about physical contacts (and not only). Even then are other things, which can change situation into more emotional and as more emotional is the contact as less other things matters.
Anyway, the worst thing we can do, no matter women or men, is care too much about such things like size or shape. Know your value, which is not to be measured by size.
Stay away from complexes, it doesn’t help in anything, but can spoil a lot. If you are trying to be in a relationship, look for someone valuable, who is not looking at you only physicly and about sexuality. Ok, it’s important in relationship, but how much?
I will appreciate if all readers write in comments what and how much is important in relationship. What is the most important and what is the least important?
Thank you all and take care.

Does men only think about sex?

Catchy title? I hope to get your attention dear reader and I will not leave it without answer.
I wonder does it make sense to write all these things, to put here all my thoughts, if the only readers are people who actually know what I’m writing about and understand the matter of morality and know how to chose what is right and what is wrong.
Am I changing anything?
There are at least two positives effects of it.
Other people around the World, who are thinking in similar way, can see, that they are not alone even if their society doesn’t understand thier point of view. It can make someone, somewhere to feel better, stronger, to find strenght inside when everything seem to be in opposite. So yes, I hope my writing can/is helpful for others.
The other positive I see, is deeper thinking and in many varities about touching subject, which can lead to better understanding of case.
I suppose, that all of you already know the answer on title question.
It is NO, men doesn’t think about sex all the time. There are other things to think about and to do. However in some situations when man will recive an sexual impulse (even when it’s only in his mind) he can start to think this way. But it’s not all the time, not every four minutes or anything like that.
Have a nice day/night wherever you are and take care.

Italiani

Dear Joh Hooper, I’ve read your book “Italiani” and I have to say, I found there many new and interesting informations about Italy and Italians as well.
I was visiting this country many times, talking with people and against stereotypes, many Italians speak english. I don’t know southern Italy at all, the most southern place I’ve been there is Rome, which is consider as central part of country. Most of the time I was in the norhtern cities, but I didn’t observe same things, which you wrote in your book.
Yes, I remember your words, that you often meet an opinion like mine. Maybe we just met and talked with different people.
Anywhere I go, I’m trying to speak the language of visiting country and I have to tell you, everywhere people react the same way. They seem to feel proud of it and appreciate my effort, thay are also happy to see I’m trying, even when my pronounciation is very weak and even when I know only few words. Only in the last resort, when I see it’s impossible to communicate, then I’m reaching for english. It’s really not a problem to communicate in english with people in Italy. Keep in mind, that it’s still about northern Italy. In some smaller towns it may be a problem, when you try to talk with older people, then they reach for german. But this is my own experience and I wouldn’t present it as a general or common situations.
Still about northern Italy, I didn’t notice a lot of young adults living with their parents.
Maybe it’s not so common, or maybe I was in extraordinary places. But still, I didn’t live there, so it can be about exceptions.
Does each Italian have own version of truth? I’m not sure do I understood well what you ment, or jus haven’t been there long enough, to see it.
About imagination, fantasy, illusion, I can only say, that it’s not only in Italy.
Same as developed Christian culture, which have affect or influence on everyday life even on those, who doesn’t consider themselves as Christians (or will be better to say Catholic).
Does Italians eat and like only their own cuisine? Well, I don’t have idea why I met more open people who liked to try new things. They were probably an exceptions.
I brought some magazines with recipes from Italy, I have to tell you, there are not only traditional italian dishes. It doesn’t mean anything, I know.
Family relations.
Value of family is not only important in Italy and is a good value as an idea. Family is important in life and provides examples for children how to deal with everyday problems and it’s example of relationship, of course when it’s not about any inappropriate behaviour at home etc. Probably parents are first who teach empathy.
Does empathy is a value or weakness?
By the way, probability of living with parents in adult life is depending from many varieties and it’s not without matter does society, at general, is rich or poor.
What do you mean by “when we compare Italians with few other nations, still we can see influence (or maybe it will be better to say legacy) of Catholic Church in those aspects of life.” Results of The Face of Global Sex research from 2012,  about sexual initiation showed, that Italians begins their sexual life later (19,4) than British (18,3) and Americans (18,4).
So what is the point? What you are trying to say?
I don’t see anything wrong about this as well as for the avarage age 19,4, would you like to be less than 18?
“Casual sexual contacts, among Italian teenagers, are more often than during Vatican (and Christian Democrats) influence was stronger.”
Does casual sexual contacts among teenagers is really so positive?
Maybe I’m to similar to Italians whose keeping traditional values.
Does traditional values are also so bad and does it really stops economic development?

Mister Hooper, I don’t know you and sometimes I’m losing your point of view. That’s why I wont say, that I disagree with you. I would like to understand what you’re trying to say.
But I have to say, I’m a little bit concerned of some things I have read in your book.
However, “Italiani” was interesting lecture for me, especially historical and geographical parts.

This is also an example, that is possible to make constructive criticism, respect the person, you disagree with and be open for discussion.